For those of you who don't know me really well, I am an introvert. This surprises many of my clients and some of my friends, but my family and close friends will vouch that this is true. People in general misunderstand the true meaning of "introvert" and "extrovert". To put it in simple terms (because I'm not a Harvard graduate), extroverts get their "energy" from being around people, and introverts need solitude in order to "refuel".
This doesn't mean that introverts are all homebodies and that they don't enjoy social activities. Quite the contrary. It just means that they enjoy different types of social interaction than the outgoing extrovert. Introverts are more likely to enjoy small groups to large crowds, and they prefer conversations about relationships and people rather than tasks and activities.
Some interesting observations are made by the author that makes a lot of sense to me. She explains how in the past fifty years we've grown away from appreciating what introverts bring to the table in the business (and social) world. Instead of creating environments where the two types work harmoniously together, we are pushing more towards extroversion. Businesses, churches and our education system scream the same message: In order to get ahead, you need to network, be bold, work in teams, become a public speaker, and continually "put yourself out there." All of these characteristics are admirable and useful, and I'm not saying introverts (or extroverts for that matter) shouldn't be "squeezed" to do something out of their comfort zone, but what happens when you shut down the qualities of an introvert and try to make him or her a "wanna-be extrovert?" The answer is, you lose a huge piece of the puzzle that makes businesses, churches and multiple systems whole and successful.
Introverts are the deep thinkers, the writers, the listeners and the observers. They're great planners and "behind the scenes" people. They are wonderful counselors and advisors. They think before they speak and usually don't judge without observation. They know their clients and employees. They are intuitive and pick up patterns of thinking that many extroverts overlook. They prefer working by themselves rather than teams, and they're the innovators (think Steve Jobs). They can also make wonderful leaders. Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, George Stephanopoulos, Audrey Hepburn, Rosa Parks, Abraham Lincoln, Laura Bush, Emma Watson, Courtney Cox, Albert Einstein, and Christina Aguilera are a few of the many well known introverts of the world. J.K. Rowling, author of Harry Potter and proud introvert claims she created the idea for Harry Potter while traveling alone on a delayed train from Manchester to London. Too shy to ask to borrow a pen, she created the story of a scrawny, black haired boy who was to become a great wizard.
Please don't get me wrong, I love extroverts! Many of my close friends are extroverts. My oldest daughter and husband are extroverts. I admire the ability to be outspoken and gregarious without needing little to no downtime. I love that extroverts never meet a stranger and don't really shy away from networking events or public speaking. We introverts need you, and the reality is you need us too!
In conclusion, I think this book is really speaking to me because for years I spent my life as a "closet introvert". I was trying so hard to be the outgoing, bigger than life personality that I thought was necessary for success, and the result was an unauthentic version of what I thought I needed to be. As I've become more comfortable with who I am, I find that my clients and friends appreciate what comes natural to me, which allows me to give more of my true self and to be more creative with my business.This doesn't mean I don't enjoy collaborating with my coworkers or laughing it up with friends. It just means that after a few hours of stimulation, I need to pull back and enjoy my own company. I still would love to master public speaking without being so nervous and I long to feel completely comfortable at big parties, but I also accept that I will probably never get a charge from attending networking events or PTA meetings. And according to Susan Cain, that's okay, because introverts have so much more to offer than fumbling his or her way around another social event.
I'm only halfway through the book, and as you can see I already have had much to say about it. I'm sure I'll finish it this week at my daughter's tumbling practice. I'll be the one in the corner, book to face, chuckling over the conversations the extroverted moms are having while waiting for their kids!
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