The Life of an Introvert

I thought I would share with you a book I'm currently reading called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking." The author, Susan Cain, is a lawyer and a Harvard Law Graduate. She's also an introvert, and her thoughts on introverts trying to make it in an extroverted world has been both insightful and refreshing.
For those of you who don't know me really well, I am an introvert. This surprises many of my clients and some of my friends, but my family and close friends will vouch that this is true. People in general misunderstand the true meaning of "introvert" and "extrovert". To put it in simple terms (because I'm not a Harvard graduate), extroverts get their "energy" from being around people, and introverts need solitude in order to "refuel".
This doesn't mean that introverts are all homebodies and that they don't enjoy social activities. Quite the contrary. It just means that they enjoy different types of social interaction than the outgoing extrovert. Introverts are more likely to enjoy small groups to large crowds, and they prefer conversations about relationships and people rather than tasks and activities.
Some interesting observations are made by the author that makes a lot of sense to me. She explains how in the past fifty years we've grown away from appreciating what introverts bring to the table in the business (and social) world. Instead of creating environments where the two types work harmoniously together, we are pushing more towards extroversion. Businesses, churches and our education system scream the same message: In order to get ahead, you need to network, be bold, work in teams, become a public speaker, and continually "put yourself out there." All of these characteristics are admirable and useful, and I'm not saying introverts (or extroverts for that matter) shouldn't be "squeezed" to do something out of their comfort zone, but what happens when you shut down the qualities of an introvert and try to make him or her a "wanna-be extrovert?" The answer is, you lose a huge piece of the puzzle that makes businesses, churches and multiple systems whole and successful.
Introverts are the deep thinkers, the writers, the listeners and the observers. They're great planners and "behind the scenes" people. They are wonderful counselors and advisors. They think before they speak and usually don't judge without observation. They know their clients and employees. They are intuitive and pick up patterns of thinking that many extroverts overlook. They prefer working by themselves rather than teams, and they're the innovators (think Steve Jobs). They can also make wonderful leaders. Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, George Stephanopoulos, Audrey Hepburn, Rosa Parks, Abraham Lincoln, Laura Bush, Emma Watson, Courtney Cox, Albert Einstein, and Christina Aguilera are a few of the many well known introverts of the world. J.K. Rowling, author of Harry Potter and proud introvert claims she created the idea for Harry Potter while traveling alone on a delayed train from Manchester to London. Too shy to ask to borrow a pen, she created the story of a scrawny, black haired boy who was to become a great wizard.
Please don't get me wrong, I love extroverts! Many of my close friends are extroverts. My oldest daughter and husband are extroverts. I admire the ability to be outspoken and gregarious without needing little to no downtime. I love that extroverts never meet a stranger and don't really shy away from networking events or public speaking. We introverts need you, and the reality is you need us too!
In conclusion, I think this book is really speaking to me because for years I spent my life as a "closet introvert". I was trying so hard to be the outgoing, bigger than life personality that I thought was necessary for success, and the result was an unauthentic version of what I thought I needed to be. As I've become more comfortable with who I am, I find that my clients and friends appreciate what comes natural to me, which allows me to give more of my true self and to be more creative with my business.This doesn't mean I don't enjoy collaborating with my coworkers or laughing it up with friends. It just means that after a few hours of stimulation, I need to pull back and enjoy my own company. I still would love to master public speaking without being so nervous and I long to feel completely comfortable at big parties, but I also accept that I will probably never get a charge from attending networking events or PTA meetings. And according to Susan Cain, that's okay, because introverts have so much more to offer than fumbling his or her way around another social event.
I'm only halfway through the book, and as you can see I already have had much to say about it. I'm sure I'll finish it this week at my daughter's tumbling practice. I'll be the one in the corner, book to face, chuckling over the conversations the extroverted moms are having while waiting for their kids!

Planning the Family Menu

Being a busy mom that runs a business but also loves to eat real food (and I love to cook), I'm always trying to find ways to manage cooking healthy meals with my busy schedule. I think I'm pretty successful at it, some weeks are better than others.
My goal is to eat at home, and try to eat as organic and clean as possible. Does it always happen? NO! Do we eat junk and processed food from time to time? YES! But balance and giving myself a break are the two things I'm putting into practice these days.

I know there's a lot of frustrated , overworked parents that find cooking for their families challenging and about as fun as a hangnail. I get it. I really love to cook, but I've learned that cooking during the week doesn't quite get my culinary creative juices flowing. I've learned to save those meals for friends and weekends. I would like to share with frazzled parents everywhere (and I say parents because I know just as many of you dads cook just as much as moms) some of my tips for providing home cooked meals for your family.

I would also like to point out that I am far from a health nut, and I could lose a few pounds myself. I do, however, try to maintain a healthy, balanced lifestyle, and do my best to create one for my children. It amazes me that we are the richest, most innovative country in the world, and we are also the fattest. Obesity is an epidemic in this country, and the rise of childhood obesity boggles me. I do believe it starts in the home. Providing healthy meals and teaching our children how to eat and what to eat starts with us and the example we set for our families. Now that I'm done with my soapbox moment, here are a few tips from this imperfect, frazzled mom.

I do my shopping on Sundays or Mondays, but preferably on Mondays when I'm off. I like to get it done in the morning, and I shop once a week. I don't buy in bulk at SAMs that often (maybe once a month for paper and cleaning items) because I don't find it to be any cheaper. I also try to buy organic meat and a lot of fresh seafood.

This is how I start:





I'm off on Monday and Thursday, so I usually cook meals that take a little more time and effort on those days. I work late on Tuesday and Wednesday, so I plan a crockpot meal on one of those nights, and my husband is responsible for a meal on the other night. We had friends down this past weekend and made fajitas, so there are a lot of leftovers and we did do some heavy grocery shopping for that on Friday.

Now it's time to see what's in my fridge, my pantry and my freezer.









I know you're mesmerized by the organization going on, right?





Pulling out meat and veggies from the weekend.


Okay, now it's time to plan my meals for the week. Keep in mind this is a list that for the most part gets followed, but can change with an extra swim practice or an overly tired mom! I know I have leftover broccoli, fajita steak and tilapia in the freezer.

Here is my five star dinner menu for the week:





Real complicated, huh?

I knew I had red beans, rice and cornbread mix in the pantry. I also keep stir fry sauces handy and spice them up with fresh ginger, brown sugar and soy sauce for quick stir fry meals.

Now keep in mind, my husband hit the store for me while I was at work on Friday, so my fridge is stocked with lunch meat, milk, eggs, and enough groceries to feed my three teenage monsters for the week. But check out my "grocery list" for the week!





It really doesn't get any easier than that!

I hear so many of my tired clients start talking about what they're going to feed their families for dinner when they sit in my chair at the salon. This is a time where they should be relaxing at the end of their day, not trying to figure out dinner. It also cost more if you make multiple trips to the grocery store, especially when you're tired and you don't have a plan. I find taking a few minutes to plan your menu and grocery list saves money, time, and creates healthier meals!

I hope I've helped in some small way by sharing a few of my tips. I'd love to hear some of yours!

Now, do I read a book or organize that pantry?

The Imperfect Perfectionist

I have a confession. I'm a "confused perfectionist". I can be very laid back and somewhat annoying to my husband when he asks me things like where a particular pot goes and I say things like "where would you like the pot to live?" I also have a driving force that declares if you're going to do something, then do it 150 percent.

I know. I feel for my family. I'm a very strange woman to live with.

It seems like every book I pick up lately is discussing perfectionism and how it actually hinders us from exposing our true selves. It got me thinking about how we glamorize being perfect in our culture, and how much importance is placed on a "look" of perfection.

We love to post about our busy lifestyle, and Facebook (and blogs for that matter) allow us to create an image of our clean homes, our overachieving kids and our perfect spouses. Instagram allows us to literally perfect pictures of ourselves and the meal we've just prepared. We are able to give a Norman Rockwell image to every aspect of our lives with just a simple app on our smartphones. Pinterest shows perfect hair, bodies, homes and meals. An edition of Southern Living that is on my desk has a picture of a young couple sitting on a front porch of a perfectly landscaped yard, sipping tea and enjoying their two dogs and young children without a mess in sight..ah, perfectionism at its finest!

I have to admit, I totally buy into the culture of perfectionism. I love it! I post pictures of food and cute kids and gifts from my husband on Facebook and Instagram, and I have to admit, I get a tinge of joy from it. And it kind of makes me gag sometimes...

The truth is, I'm really working on being true to myself, on showing my faults and imperfections to others, and sharing my fears and being vulnerable. This is a practice in our world of perfectionism, and it hits me...we cannot expose our true selves if we are hiding behind the mask of perfectionism. Yuck.

So here goes...an opportunity to show an imperfect side of myself:

My imperfect truths:

Dog hair in my house will always be there. I have three wonderful dogs. They are sloppy and they shed, and I love them dearly.

Teenage girls do not have clean bathrooms and bedrooms. They are nasty and despite the sweet nursery rhymes, are not made of sugar and spice and everything nice.They just don't get it! Why aren't they defined by their need to look perfect, dammit! They laugh at me, shrug at me, roll their eyes. Don't they understand the importance of a clean room and a clean bathroom? Don't they recognize that HGTV will barge in at any given moment to present me with a " home of the year" award?!

Despite of the fact that I am a hairdresser and a makeup artist, I regularly go out with my hair not done and no makeup. This one I actually love and don't mind. Maybe it's the rebel in me, but I love attending school functions among perfectly made up moms in my baseball cap and yoga pants. "Why yes, I am a hairdresser and I own a salon. I would love to give you the latest look while looking like I just rolled out of bed."

In conclusion, I'd like to attempt to download pictures of my "imperfect home" for the first time. See, I'm still learning how to perfect my blog and I've never done this before, so it might be imperfect. I've also had two glasses of wine so this may make everything a little unpolished and imperfect as well...and that's okay! I'm learning to embrace my imperfect life and to recognize that it is perfect enough for me!

My imperfect office:





My attempt to create organization with the girl's backpacks and sports gear. Note the "Laugh" above the awesome organization skills my girls have acquired.


My imperfect kitchen that is left undone after breakfast rush.


This is my favorite! My attempt to create a place to properly hang and reuse towels with my girls. Isn't this awesome!?



And finally, my imperfect bed making skills.




So there it is! I'd love to know some of your imperfections as well.. Then it won't make me feel so imperfect!

A Story about Yoga, Panic Attacks, and Letting Go.

As many of you know, I love yoga and have been practicing on and off for several years. Two years ago (after I started Bohemian Hair), my stress level hit an all time high. The business was growing and required much of my time, but my family was growing as well, and home life was filled with active teenage girls that needed me in a much different way than I had ever experienced. Life was good, but busy. I began having mild panic attacks and became extremely impatient and short with those around me. I have always been a pretty calm and patient person, so I knew this behavior was not healthy, and was a sign that something needed to change. The big question was, "what to change?' There was little to no wiggle room in my schedule, but I also knew that we take care of the things that are important. I didn't know how I was going to achieve this, but I knew I had to start somewhere, so I enrolled in a Bikram yoga class, and my journey began.

For those who are not familiar with Bikram yoga, it's a form of Hatha yoga that consist of 26 postures, done in a hot room of 105 degree temperature for 90 minutes. Yes, I'm crazy. This is the boot camp of yoga, and I loved it! Not only was it physically challenging, but it was 90 minutes of pure meditation and time with myself. It's very hard to think about anything else when you're trying to balance and breathe in a 105 degree room! I was hooked and began practicing 2-3 times a week.

As I continued in my practice, I noticed a calm that came over me after class and was carried throughout my day. I also noticed emotion that I had never allowed myself to feel coming up during classes. Although yoga is a physical activity, it is mental as well. I started recognizing that the chatter in my mind was mostly why I struggled with a pose, and when I allowed myself to mentally "let go", my body followed. I also recognized that I suppressed a lot of emotion and where in the past I would "push away" emotion, I began to allow myself to simply feel what was coming up. I didn't dwell on it, but I did acknowledge what I was feeling, which surprisingly allowed the emotion to pass through and quickly dissolve.

This led me to step two in my journey of dealing with my anxiety and stress. I began to journal the emotions and thoughts I was feeling. I've always enjoyed writing, but in the past keeping a journal was like a diary of my day. Many times I would go back and critique my work and how it was written. This time was different. I began "free writing". No thoughts of what I was going to write or how it sounded, just my subconscious, uncensored mind flowing through my pen on paper. I also made a deal with my conscious mind that I would not judge or criticize what I had written. As I began this process, not only was I shocked at what came out of me, but I began to feel compelled to write daily.  As I went back and read what I had written, I was amazed of how much I had kept suppressed in me, tucked away for no one to see. I was shocked at the amount of insecurity, anger and fear that I had held in for so long, and how hard I worked to present to the world a person who was fearless, strong and unfortunately, still trying to seek approval and please everyone. This led me to step three, the word I had dreaded and made fun of my whole life...therapy.

For those who know me, the thought of people going on and on about their problems and their life (much like I'm doing now) turns my stomach. I had always subscribed to the "pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together" mentality. But through this process I came to realize my own weaknesses and that I needed a little help "connecting the dots". I recognized that I had done a lot of the work myself, but with the help of some good reading material on this subject and a good therapist, I was able to recognize destructive behavior, forgive myself and others for harsh judgements, and let go of the need to control and please others.

The combination of yoga, journaling and therapy began to dissolve my anxiety, and the panic attacks went away. The stress and busy schedule is still there (I don't think it's going away anytime soon), but there is a new me emerging at 41, and I really like who this person is! This journey hasn't come without some pain and consequences. Probably the hardest reality for me was understanding that when you change your reactions to things and your need to please, (and you put up proper boundaries, something I never did), you may lose some relationships, or some of those relationships will stall in order to readjust to your new way of thinking. I have to admit this felt uncomfortable to me at first, but I knew it was a necessary process in my growth. This doesn't mean that I am "enlightened" in any way and that I walk around in bliss. I'm far from blissful! What I am now is more honest with myself and those around me. I live more in the present, and that allows me to be more productive and happy. I've learned that dwelling in the past creates depression and anticipating the future creates anxiety. My yoga practice has taught me to discipline myself to be present and live in the present, which shuts down my need to dwell in the past and be anxious about things that have yet happened. When the chatter of "Past" and "Future" start to annoy me, I sit down and "write the chatter" out of my head, which usually takes a few minutes and brings me back to the present moment. I then get on with my day!  This doesn't mean I never get stressed or sad or angry, quite the contrary. I just make sure the emotion I am feeling is relevant to my current dilemma or situation, which helps me deal with the situation properly.

In closing, I decided to share my story with you because I know many of my clients and friends face these same challenges, and if I could offer a little encouragement or something that helps you through your journey, I'm happy to share some of mine! Namaste,my friends! Now I have to get back to laundry, and dinner, and the kids will be home soon....

Kristen    

Thoughts of Past, Present and Future

I don't know what your Christmas was like, but it was hectic for the salon! I took some much needed time off after the holidays, and after a few days away, I returned to the salon on a quiet Sunday to take down Christmas decorations and organize.

I love when the salon is crowded and loud, but I also love rare moments when the salon is empty. The stillness allows me to think and reflect on how far Boho has come. It also gets my creative juices flowing (I'm sure a few days off helped!) and helps me focus on some of the exciting plans I have for the salon in 2013.

It's hard to believe we will be open three years in April! When Bo and I started the process of creating Bohemian Hair, I had a vision of what I wanted the salon to be. Not the physical look of the salon, but what I wanted in terms of staff and the way I wanted people to feel when they walked in our doors. With 20 years of experience as a hairdresser, I had assisted and worked as a stylist in big commission salons that were professional and lovely. Upon moving to Texas, I worked in smaller booth rental salons that allowed flexibility and had a homey atmosphere. I loved the professionalism of big commission salons, but at times felt robotic and over structured, which hindered my creativity. I enjoyed the homey feel of smaller booth rental salons, but felt at times a lack of professionalism and necessary structure. My goal was to take what I loved from both environments.This can be done, right?

I've never been a status quo kind of person. Although I'm always up for reading fresh perspectives on business, I'm not one to take my vision (or business model) from the next latest and greatest book on how to grow a business. I don't personally feel anything innovative has ever been created this way. I do know that if you have a passion for what you do and you truly care about your staff and clients,  your chance of success is pretty high. I also believe that there is a paradox when it comes to achieving success: In order to be successful, money cannot be the driving motive for what you do.  Crazy, huh?

So here we are, three years and counting! We are still a small building, but we house some pretty big personalities! I can say without a doubt that I have the most amazing and creative group of people working at Boho. I can also brag that we have the most amazing diverse clientele. Our salon is not for everyone, and that's okay because when you try to be everything to everyone, you lose your vision and perspective. Our clients will tell you that Bohemian Hair is their salon, and that along with great hair we offer an authentic environment that is fun and relaxed.

I'm very proud of what we have created, and very excited for what's to come.Me and Terianne are leaving for Vegas this weekend to attend classes at the Redken Symposium. Cody continues to wow us with his editorial hair and makeup, and you can look for a showing of his photography at the salon sometime this year.Our assistant and new stylist Cherise is learning quickly and starting to build a clientele. Look for this girl to be out on the floor really soon! Last but not least, Bo is still doing what Bo does: great hair and making every person that comes into the salon feel welcome. We are also looking forward to starting up our workshop series again (along with good food and wine!). We are also excited about creating some useful hair tutorials for the blog, so stay posted!

This has been and continues to be an amazing (and sometimes overwhelming) journey for me. My staff will tell you I'm not overly sentimental or sappy, but I will say with much gratitude that I am  honored for the opportunity to carry out my passion for people and hair in an environment  like Bohemian Hair. So for my staff and clients of the salon, I thank you, I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful 2013!

Kristen

Easy Taco Soup

As many of you may know, I love to cook. I am one of those strange people that puts on Paula Deen for entertainment, and cooking a good meal on the weekends is how I relax. I do, however, find it a challenge during the busy weekdays to plan and prepare easy, delicious meals, so when I find or create a winner, I'm always excited to share!  This recipe is a result wanting something a little different than my typical Chicken Tortilla Soup. My family loved it...I hope yours does too!

Easy Taco Soup

1 28 oz can chopped tomatoes, with juice
1 can of corn
1 can of green chiles
1 can of black beans
1 t ground cumin
2 cups of beef broth
1 lb ground beef
1 yellow onion,chopped
1 bunch cilantro
1 bunch green onions
salt and pepper

Toppings:

shredded monterey jack cheese
avocado
tortilla chips, crumbled
sour cream


Brown ground beef and chopped onion in skillet. Drain. Add green chiles, corn, beans, tomatoes,beef broth and cumin. Bring to a boil and simmer. Add salt and pepper, green onions and cilantro. Simmer on low for 15 minutes. Serve with your favorite toppings. My personal favorite are chips, cheese and avocado.

Enjoy !
Kristen   

A Few of My Favorite Things

Okay. So I'm not consistently keeping up with this blog like I need to, and I'm announcing a few of my favorite finds a little late, but better late than never!

I hope that each one of you is enjoying 2011 so far. Christmas was nice, but I have to admit, there is something about the new year that gets me just as excited. Rather than bore you with new year's resolutions (which have probably all been broken by now), I would like to share with you some of my favorites of 2010:

Favorite:

Perfume: Jo Malone's Lime & Basil, Grapefruit and Pomegranate Colognes. These fabulous scents are light, earthy and can be layered without smelling like you've spent all afternoon spraying on fragrance at Macy's.

Moisturizer: Weil for Origins Mega Mushroom Skin Relief. This moisturizer is great for sensitive skin, but provides just enough creamy moisture without weighing the skin down. It also has a wonderful grapefruit scent. At 39, most "sensitive skin" moisturizers still break me out. This one does not, and leaves your skin feeling soft and non-greasy.

Eye shadow set for smokey eyes: NYX For Your Eyes Only Smokey Eyes . I'm usually a MAC girl, but I stumbled upon this little set at Ulta, and I love it. I find most eye shadows contain too much talc and not enough pigment. This little set of 10 shadows give you a lot of intense color without using that much product.It's also small enough to fit in a medium size handbag, so it's great for traveling.

New shopping finds: Anthropologie in The Woodlands. It's amazing how the same store can vary depending on location. I love this store but always found the one in Highland Village to be a little on the, dare I say, "young" side for me. It also seemed to only carry sizes 00 to 2. Due to this I was always content to browse and dream of someday mysteriously dropping 40 lbs so I could fit into all these wonderful clothes. That's when I discovered  Anthropologie in The Woodlands. The sizes were pleasantly bigger and the manager and staff are over 30. (woo hoo!)

J. Silver in Rice Village. Actually, my husband found this store. All jewelry is beautifully handmade,and is surprisingly affordable. Brad has found some wonderful pieces for me, and it's definitely worth checking out.

Music: Arcade Fire "The Suburbs" and Mumford and Sons "Little Lion Man". I love singing to the Black Eyed Pea's catchy tunes as much as anyone else, but when it comes to music that I want to listen to for years to come, (and when I've had about all of the overproduced pop that I can handle), I long for good lyrics and musicians that can actually harmonize and play instruments. These two groups delivered for me. I've also discovered (a little late, I know) Zac Brown Band, and Pearl Jam's "Just Breathe" single allowed me to do just that.

There you go..some of my favorite finds of the year. I look forward to sharing many more with you in 2011.

So I'm curious, what were some of your favorites this year?



Happy 2011 My Friends!!
Kristen